I was reading in an old copy of Women Who Run with the Wolves when I started having a vision appear in my mind’s eye.
An old 1950s model Chevrolet had its hood up. A woman wearing a halter top and Daisy Duke short shorts and platform heels was sitting on the edge of the car with her heels on the front bumper. She started to climb down and her heel got caught between the body of the car and the bumper. She fell, twisting her leg and breaking her ankle. She continued to fall and went over a cliff.
I asked what this vision meant and heard “There’s no need for you to understand all the operations under the hood in order to know how to drive a car. Neither do you need to be placed out front like a hood ornament. You belong behind the wheel where you can steer and direct the power or energy and take yourself and the vehicle where you want to go.”
You see, I have been wrestling with believing in myself and the healing abilities I’ve been given. I never want to be boastful or ungrateful, or to assume that the power I am accessing in higher realms is all my doing. I struggle with how to let people know that I can help them and not come across as a know-it-all who has all the answers. Marketing my “business” and remaining confident in who I am is often met with a self-limiting program that requires me to feel “less than” in order to not be perceived as aloof.
Why am I so concerned with what others think of me? In general, I’m not. But when it comes to helping people, I know that there is a trust issue. They have to know that my heart is sincere and that I have the ability to help them with a unique treatment that will come through my allowing Spirit to use me as a vessel. I am very transparent, but I don’t like having to sell myself to a client. I wish that everyone could see past the exterior judgments and opinions and know who is the safe person they should work with. Oh, for the activation of discernment in all of us!
Pride and humility are like a reversible coat. One side white and one side black, if you choose to use color as a yin/yang representative of pride and humility. You can wear one side out for the world to see while the other color is next to your body. How others perceive you, is their external perception. The love on the inside is what’s important, not the coat itself.
Humility can keep you in hiding from being who you truly are as a powerful being of light and live. Pride can put you in harm’s way and cause you to be vulnerable to deceptions.
How do I get behind the wheel to balance pride (confidence) and humility as I direct energy? The best solution I came up with is to continue to know and express who I am and let love light the path as I own my truth and clear this old programming from my psyche.
Maureen says
September 22, 2015 at 11:27 PMDear Yvonne,
I love this post, for many reasons.
First, I really ‘get’ what you’re saying here … I know I would face the same dilemma if I were in a similar position, and I feel for you!
Second, the message you received through the vision is amazing. Not only is it delightfully detailed, vivid, colorful and creative – just like a movie clip – but most astonishing is the profound and perfect Wisdom contained within that metaphor. It’s like it was a gift to you from Spirit / Source/ Universe/ Self … all wrapped up in colorful paper with curling ribbon to boot! (My jaw is still on the floor, I’m so amazed!).
Third, I deeply admire and appreciate your willingness to be so open in this post. It takes great courage and character to admit and share your personal challenges here … which reinforces and further validates what I’ve seen, sensed, and known about you all along … which is:
1. Your heart is sincere. (One of the most sincerest hearts I know).
2. You have this tremendous gift and ability to bring healing to others by ‘allowing Spirit to use you as a vessel’. (Which, btw, is not for the faint of heart. That initial process of having your vessel cleared out so Spirit can easily flow through you is nothing short of ruthless — but maybe that’s just me; my vessel has a LOT of stubborn clogs).
3. You don’t come across as a ‘know-it-all….
4. And definitely not as aloof.
In a nutshell, from my vantage point, you’re doing this thing right — even despite the understandable discomfort of business and marketing requirements. Your solution, to “continue to know and express who you are …and let love light the path as you own your truth …” Is right on the mark.
I think your wisdom, knowledge, life experiences, passion for helping and healing others, love of Spirit, and your generous, loving heart speak for themselves. They are your sales force :-). So you can just sit back and drive.
Love, mo
P.s. This is all purely sincere, from my heart … However, in reading it over, I’m afraid it sounds like a pep talk :-(. … To post or not to post??? …
Yvonne Perry says
September 23, 2015 at 11:30 AMI am deeply touched and honored by your words, Mo. Thank you so much for sharing this encouragement. Much love to you!