From my work with clients and my personal experience, the twin flame journey that so many talk about is rarely one of romance or glamour as has been portrayed. Instead, it is a triggering relationship that brings the shadow side out of each person so it can be healed. Most so-called twin flame relationships only last until the “hotness” or new relationship energy wears off and real life begins. One partner will either leave or pull away when the purpose of the relationship is finished. Some do not end well–especially if one partner is not willing to commit–but the impact is so strong, it will leave an impression that is hard to forget.
Fortunately, my relationship with my husband has survived for 17 years. We are not twin flames–I’m not convinced that such a thing even exists. (I did an interview on the topic of twin flames that you might find interesting.) I believe every soul is a vital part of Source and cannot be truly separate. We live under the illusion of separation as we express individual traits and personalities of Source. We all have masculine and feminine traits, yin and yang energy, and “good” and “bad” expressions.
No other person or soul is the other half of me; I am complete. Therefore, I think “twin ray” is a better term what we are seeking in another person to help us feel whole. The twin ray is the flow of Source energy within us—a sacred union we have with our higher selves. It exists in every person. Our Earth traumas, programming, and experiences keep it well hidden as we seek connection with others, who many times let us down. The twin ray connection is only experienced within one’s self/mind. Living from a place of self-love and acceptance makes it easier to not project needs and expectations on another person.
My husband and I still trigger one another. We no longer see this as a bad thing, even though it is uncomfortable for an empath to be at odds with someone close. My husband and I have learned how to manage these situations by seeing them as healing opportunities. We may be in the middle of a conflict when one of us with burst into laughter, seeing how ridiculous we are behaving. Obviously, this kind of relationship takes a lot of work from both partners.
With my clients, I find it common for one person to be willing to do the shadow work while the other one refuses. The “advanced” or evolving partner sometimes nags the other person to wake up spiritually. This can be viewed as a need to control another person. Naturally, this creates a miserable relationship, and yet the disenchanted partners often stay together in hopes that their partner will change. Thus, a trauma bond is formed (financial dependence, fear of losing children, not wanting to be alone, etc.) that prevents a partner from physically leaving, even though their heart (or the heart of their partner) may have left many months or years prior. This is not unconditional love.
Change comes from within oneself and it has all to do with connecting to the unconditional love of the higher self. This “God” self is perfect and it is YOU!. It will never let you down, try to control you, reject you for the decisions you make, or judge you for any reason.
There is a lot more to be said about relationships and unconditional love. I would be happy to speak with you more about it in a free 15-minute Skype or telephone call. I will answer a few of your questions and offer some light language to help you have clarity to decide if a full session is what you need to move forward.